Thirty Thousand Bottles of Wine and a Pig Called Helga Read online

  Smaller Meals

  Crumbed Mushrooms with Roasted Vegetables

  Serves 4

  Once after a long day driving the tour bus, I came home to this delicious meal Jeff had invented. The mushrooms were so soft and creamy, the coating so crunchy, it was amazing! Naturally I had to tweak the recipe a little, but full credit to Jeff for coming up with the hummus-and-breadcrumb coating.

  Ingredients

  For the roasted vegetables

  4 potatoes

  2 onions

  1 fennel bulb

  2 apples

  4 cloves garlic

  Olive oil spray (make your own spray with a high-quality olive oil and put in a mist gun you can buy at department stores)

  2 sprigs rosemary

  Sea salt

  For the mushrooms

  1 cup vegan breadcrumbs or corn flake crumbs

  2 tsp garlic salt

  1 tsp onion powder

  1/2 tsp freshly cracked pepper

  1 tsp dried thyme

  4 tbsp hummus

  2 tbsp non-dairy milk

  500g medium-sized flat field or brown mushrooms

  Olive oil spray

  Method

  • Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

  • Cut the potatoes, onions, fennel and apples into equal-sized cubes of around 2cm.

  • Place vegetables in a roasting tray with four peeled whole garlic cloves (or more to taste).

  • Spray with olive oil, sprinkle with rosemary and sea salt and toss to combine.

  • Bake in the oven until the potatoes are soft, around 45 minutes.

  • While the vegetables are roasting, in a bowl mix together breadcrumbs, garlic salt, onion powder, pepper and thyme.

  • In another bowl mix together the hummus and milk.

  • Roll the whole mushrooms in the hummus mixture then roll in the breadcrumb mixture until each mushroom is completely coated.

  • Once the potatoes have been baking for 25 minutes, place the mushrooms on a baking tray and spray generously with olive oil. Bake for around 20 minutes or until the breadcrumbs are nicely toasted.

  • To serve, divide the roasted vegetables between each plate and top with the crumbed mushrooms.

  The Raw and the Cooked

  Serves 4

  I’m still stuck in the 1980s so the name of this recipe gives a nod to the Fine Young Cannibals album (ironic, being vegan!). Sometimes salads can be boring. I wanted to create one with a great variety of textures, flavours and a little chilli hit but which is still fast and easy to make. I like the contrast of the hot potatoes with those crunchy raw salad vegetables.

  Ingredients

  For the salad

  4 medium white potatoes, washed but unpeeled

  1 red onion

  1 large raw beetroot (yellow if you can find it)

  6 button mushrooms

  1 red capsicum

  1 Lebanese cucumber

  4 radishes

  1/2 cup fresh parsley

  For the dressing

  1 punnet cherry tomatoes

  1/2 cup pitted olives

  2 tbsp capers

  2 tsp sea salt

  1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

  1 tsp seeded mustard

  1 chilli, chopped (red with seeds for maximum heat, green without seeds for a slight hit)

  Method

  • Prick the potatoes thoroughly with a fork, then space evenly on a microwave-safe plate. Microwave on high until the potatoes are completely tender, around 12–15 minutes.

  • While the potatoes are cooking, slice all the other salad ingredients as thinly as you can – a mandolin gives good results.

  • In a mortar, place all the dressing ingredients and carefully smash with the pestle. (Cherry tomatoes will squirt so be careful, or you could use a food processor.)

  • Assemble the salad by placing hot potato slices on each plate first, then the onion. Sprinkle with a little sea salt.

  • Top with the rest of the salad ingredients, ensuring all the colours are visible.

  • Spoon the dressing on top of each salad.

  Oregano and Chilli Charred Tofu on an Orange, Fennel, Rocket and Cashew Salad

  Serves 4

  I used to make a version of this salad using pork fillets. It’s fast, easy and delicious and tofu makes it even simpler and tastier. The contrast between the softness of the tofu and the crunch of the salad makes it very more-ish. Barbecuing the tofu lessens the heat of the chilli but you can also cook it in the oven or grill for spicier results.

  Ingredients

  For the tofu

  1 tbsp dried chilli flakes

  1 tbsp dried oregano

  1 tsp sea salt

  375g firm tofu

  Olive oil spray

  For the salad

  1 bulb fennel

  4 stalks celery

  1 red onion

  2 oranges, peeled and segmented

  1 handful rocket

  1/2 cup salted cashews, crushed

  For the dressing

  1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise

  1 tbsp Dijon mustard

  2 tsp apple cider vinegar

  1 tsp sea salt

  Method

  • Preheat a barbecue hot plate.

  • Combine the chilli, oregano and sea salt in a shallow bowl.

  • Slice the tofu into eight even-sized lengths (about 1cm wide).

  • Spray each slice of tofu with olive oil then roll in the chilli mixture. Set aside.

  • Slice the salad vegetables thinly and toss in a bowl with the orange segments and rocket to combine.

  • Stir together the dressing ingredients then mix through the salad and leave the flavours to intensify.

  • Spray the chilli tofu slices with a little extra olive oil.

  • Cook the tofu on the barbecue for 1–2 minutes each side, until the chilli starts to blacken.

  • To serve, pile salad on serving plates, top with two slices of chilli tofu then sprinkle with the crushed salted cashews.

  Stuffed Sweet Potatoes with Chilli, Garlic & Shallots

  Serves 4

  This is another great lunchtime meal or a flavour-packed entrée. The secret to these stuffed spuds is to keep the flavours raw and cooking the sweet potatoes in the microwave first makes it fast and fuss-free.

  Ingredients

  2 orange sweet potatoes, washed but unpeeled

  2 green spring onions/shallots, sliced

  2 cloves garlic, crushed

  2 green chillis, sliced (with seeds for extra spice)

  2 tbsp chopped parsley

  1 tbsp chopped dill

  80g vegan cheese (fetta- or mozzarella-style)

  1 tsp sea salt

  2 cups mixed salad greens

  1 tbsp olive oil

  2 tsp balsamic vinegar

  Salt and pepper

  Method

  • Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

  • Prick the sweet potatoes all over with a fork, then space evenly on a microwave-safe plate. Microwave on high until tender, around 12–15 minutes.

  • While the sweet potatoes are cooking, combine the spring onions, garlic, chillis, parsley, dill, cheese and sea salt in a large bowl.

  • When the sweet potatoes are cooked, cut each in half lengthways then scoop out the soft flesh, leaving about 1cm against the skin. Place the flesh in the bowl with the onions and other ingredients and mix well.

  • Spoon the sweet potato mixture back into the skins.

  • Place the stuffed sweet potatoes on a lined baking tray and bake in the oven until piping hot.

  • Serve with salad greens that have been tossed with olive oil, balsamic, salt and pepper.

  Roasted Cauliflower Wraps

  Serves 4

  Charred cauliflower brings whole new meaning to that humble vegetable. Topped with hummus and some crunchy pickled vegetables, it’s hard to find a tastier, healthier lunch.

  Ingredients

>   1 head cauliflower

  2 tbsp olive oil

  1 tbsp sea salt

  4 tbsp hummus

  4 vegan wraps

  1/4 jar of pickled vegetables, sliced

  1/2 red onion, finely sliced

  1 cup rocket

  Sea salt

  Chinese chilli sauce (optional)

  Method

  • Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

  • Break the cauliflower into evenly sized florets, about the size of golf balls – they will shrink a little when cooked.

  • Toss the cauliflower florets with the olive oil and sea salt.

  • Place on a lined baking tray and bake for around 25 minutes, or until the cauliflower has developed a toasty brown colour.

  • Spread 1 tbsp of hummus on each wrap.

  • Top with cauliflower, pickled vegetables, onion and rocket and sprinkle over a little sea salt and chilli sauce (if using).

  • Roll up the wrap and eat immediately.

  Midnight Friday Special

  Serves 2

  I’m the first to admit this isn’t really a recipe that requires a lot of cooking but Jeff and I stumbled across this one night in the middle of a drinking session. Non-vegans would fortify their stomachs with salty melted cheese but we have found this to be a delicious alternative.

  Ingredients

  4 thick slices vegan white sourdough bread

  4 tsp vegan butter (I use Nuttelex Buttery)

  4 tbsp no-sugar crunchy peanut butter

  Sea salt

  Method

  • Pop your bread in the toaster and toast to your taste (I think it’s better just blonde, Jeff prefers it dark).

  • Spread 1 tsp of butter on each slice of hot toast.

  • Spread 1 tbsp of peanut butter.

  • Sprinkle with sea salt to taste.

  • Eat while binging on your favourite Netflix show and drinking a glass of dry Rosé.

  Tahini Creamed Spinach with Cherry Tomatoes and Toasted Pine Nuts

  Serves 2 (or 4 as a side dish)

  This is based on a dish Cheryl used to make us for dinner in Petersham. I’ve upped the flavours of this one a bit and added some wine to create richness, while the nuts add a lovely crunch. She’ll insist I’ve tampered with an original but sometimes you can improve on perfection.

  Ingredients

  3 tbsp pine nuts

  2 tbsp olive oil

  2 cloves garlic, crushed

  1 punnet cherry tomatoes, halved

  1 bunch spinach, chopped

  2 tbsp tahini

  1 cup Semillon

  Method

  • Place pine nuts on a baking tray in a 180-degree-Celsius oven and roast until toasty brown, about 8–10 minutes.

  • Heat oil in a saucepan then add the garlic, stirring constantly to ensure it doesn’t burn, and cook for 1 minute.

  • Add the cherry tomatoes and cook for a further minute.

  • Add the spinach and stir until the leaves have all wilted, about 2–3 minutes.

  • Stir in the tahini until all of the spinach is nicely coated.

  • Pour in the Semillon and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated, stirring occasionally.

  • Serve immediately topped with the toasted pine nuts.

  Larger Meals

  Easy Silverbeet Filo Tart

  Serves 12 (makes 2 tarts)

  This is vegan fast food at its best. I usually keep a few of these pre-cut in the freezer so whenever we want something quickly we can just pop one in the oven until hot.

  Ingredients

  1 packet frozen vegan filo pastry (18 sheets), defrosted overnight in the fridge (most are made with oil, not butter but double check)

  3 large bunches of silverbeet

  4 cloves garlic, peeled

  1 tbsp sea salt

  Olive oil spray

  200g vegan mozzarella cheese, grated

  1 tsp nutmeg

  Method

  • Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

  • Wash the silverbeet in cold water then strip the silverbeet from its stalks by ripping the leaves into smaller pieces. Do not dry the leaves as the water will help them cook. You will now have a massive pile of torn leaves, but don’t worry – they wilt down a lot.

  • Place the garlic cloves and sea salt in the bottom of a large saucepan then place the silverbeet on top. Cook until the leaves are all tender (they will turn a dark green colour), ensuring you keep stirring them around so the heat disperses evenly and they cook at the same rate.

  • Once cooked, pour the leaves into a colander, and remove the garlic cloves.

  • Once cooled, squeeze as much moisture out of the leaves as you can – you should end up with about two cups of densely packed leaves.

  • Roughly chop the silverbeet.

  • To assemble the tart, unroll the filo pastry then carefully remove the first sheet.

  • Spray the bottom of a tart tin with olive oil spray, then put the sheet of filo on the bottom. The sheet will come up over the edge of the tray. Spray lightly with oil.

  • Keep adding layers of filo pastry one on top of the other, spraying with oil each time, allowing the excess pastry to overhang opposite sides of the tray.

  • Once you have used half the packet of filo (9 sheets), repeat this layering process for the second tart.

  • Spread half of the grated cheese on the bottom of each tart, then sprinkle over the chopped silverbeet.

  • Fold over the pastry overhangs so they become the top of the tart, then spray the top lightly with olive oil and sprinkle over the nutmeg.

  • Bake for 20 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

  • You can slice each tart into six pieces and place in the freezer until you’re ready to eat it.

  • To re-heat, place frozen portion in a 160-degree-Celsius oven for 15 minutes or until a knife inserted into the middle of the tart comes out hot.

  Roasted Cauliflower with Semillon Vegetables

  Here is my vegan version of the one-pot chicken dish I created when we moved to the Hunter. It’s loosely based on Maggie Beer’s Chicken & Grape Pie.

  Ingredients

  4 white potatoes, thinly sliced

  300g brown mushrooms, sliced

  2 brown onions, thinly sliced

  1 cup large green olives (with pips tastes better but makes it more difficult to eat)

  10 sprigs thyme

  Sea salt

  2 heads garlic, cut in half horizontally

  1 whole cauliflower, sliced into 3cm ‘steaks’

  1 cup vegan vegetable stock

  1 cup Semillon

  Olive oil spray

  Salt and pepper, extra

  2 tbsp flour

  Method

  • Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

  • In a deep (about 10cm) roasting dish, layer the potatoes, then mushrooms, then onions, then olives, then thyme, sprinkling each vegetable layer with a little sea salt.

  • Place the garlic heads skin side down and then place the cauliflower steaks on top.

  • Pour over the vegetable stock, then the Semillon.

  • Spray the cauliflower with the olive oil then season well with salt and pepper.

  • Cover dish with foil and place in the oven.

  • After one hour, remove dish from the oven and carefully turn over the cauliflower steaks. Cover with the foil and return to the oven.

  • After another hour the cauliflower should be tender, and so should the potatoes at the bottom of the dish.

  • Remove the foil and place dish back in the oven for a further thirty minutes until the cauliflower is nicely browned.

  • Remove from the oven and, using a ladle, remove two cups of the liquid from the bottom of the dish.

  • Place liquid in a saucepan and bring to the boil, then sprinkle flour over it using a sieve.

  • Stir the gravy constantly to ensure there are no lumps, and cook for 2–3 minutes unti
l thick. Check for seasoning and add a little more salt and pepper if required. Transfer to a pouring jug.

  • Serve the roasting dish and jug in the middle of the table so people can help themselves.

  Kale, Quinoa and Mushroom Bowl

  Serves 2

  We have a little local wholefoods café in East Maitland that specialises in organic and vegan foods – it’s always a treat to discover a restaurant that caters to vegans and it’s becoming more common even in rural areas. This is my version of their quinoa bowl – packed full of flavour and freshness. I use microwavable quinoa to make this dish super-fast and easy.

  Ingredients

  3 tbsp sesame seeds

  1 tbsp sesame oil

  2 cloves garlic, crushed

  2 inches fresh ginger, grated

  1 red chilli, sliced, seeds removed

  500g mushrooms, sliced

  3 tbsp salt-reduced soy sauce

  1 bunch kale, sliced

  1 packet microwavable (semi-cooked) quinoa

  4 tbsp sauerkraut

  4 tbsp hummus

  1 avocado, sliced (optional)

  Method

  • Gently toast the sesame seeds in a frying pan until golden brown, then remove from the heat and set aside.

  • Heat the sesame oil in the frying pan then add the garlic, ginger and chilli, stirring frequently to ensure they do not burn. Stir-fry for 1 minute.

  • Add the sliced mushrooms and stir well, ensuring the mushrooms are coated nicely with the garlic mixture. Stir-fry for 2 minutes.

  • Add 2 tbsp of the soy sauce and stir-fry for a further two minutes until the mushrooms are tender.

  • Add the kale and quinoa and stir-fry 2–3 minutes until the kale is tender.

  • Add the remaining 1 tbsp soy sauce and stir well.

  • To serve, place the quinoa mixture on a plate, top with 2 tbsp each of the sauerkraut and hummus and half a sliced avocado (if using). Sprinkle over with toasted sesame seeds.

  Tofu with Green Thai Sauce

  Serves 4

  Here is my vegan version of a steamed chicken dish I was addicted to when I worked in the city. I use microwavable rice so I can make this dish in a hurry, usually in less than fifteen minutes. Jeff can’t stand Szechuan pepper so I’m not allowed to use it but I can’t get enough of its lemony numbing taste, so if you’re more like me than he, replace the chilli powder with ground Szechuan.